Letters To My Son #3

Dear My Beautiful Thomas

Well baby boy you are here you have been like a whirlwind in our lives and you have completely taken our lives and house and we love it. Even though you are nearly 4 weeks old now I still can't stop looking at you I can't quite believe you are our son.
You have met nearly all of your family now and everybody is completely in love with you, you have already been completely spoilt by everybody they have bought you so many lovely presents and you now have more clothes than mummy and daddy put together the only shame is you have hardly any that fit just yet even the newborn stuff is a bit too big hehe. everbody we see tells us how beautiful you are and how content you seem because you are such a good boy, I'm such a proud mummy.
You are such a clever little boy since day 1 you have been holding your head up on your own for a couple of minutes at a time and now you can hold it up for ages whilst you look around your surrounding being nosey. Over the last couple of days you have been trying your hardest to smile and laugh especially when your daddy and I are being silly with you. You have also started to copy our facial expressions and have started to lick your tongue when we do it to you.
The health visitor came to see you on Wednesday and you were weighed again and you are now 9lb6 your are growing lovely you were 7lb14 when you were born and have put on weight every week you will be a big boy soon.
Well Thomas I had better go now so I can grab some breakfast now whilst your are asleep before you wake up again.

All my love


How To Cope With No Sleep

Just look at your baby and how beautiful they are. The sleepless nights are all worthwhile :)


Life As A New Mum

I knew having a baby would mean my life would change forever. I am now responsible for this little human being, to make sure he is fed, clean, looked after, warm, safe, happy and loved. Yeah i've baby sat for my little brother and looked after younger cousins but nothing prepares you for having a baby of your own.
I feel like a completely different person than the one I was just 3 weeks ago. I am constantly thinking about my Son his needs come before mine. David and I often find its dinner time before we realise that we haven't had anything to eat and then we think about getting dressed.
Being a mum is harder than I thought it would be, trying to work out whats wrong with your little one when he crys I find myself going through a list of possibilites in my head. You also find yourself getting worried over the tiniest little thing. It's tiring surviving on a few hours sleep a night as Thomas is waking 3 times a night at the minute and it can take anywhere up to a hour to feed him, wind him, change his nappy and then settle him back off to sleep again. So I am feeling a bit sleep deprived at the minute, people keep saying you should sleep when your baby sleeps but I find too many other things to do first like cleaning bottles, washing clothes and dishes and trying to tidy up. I also try to have a bit of me time watch a bit of tele and have a little nosey on the internet to stop me going mad with baby brain.

Ultimately becoming a Mummy has been the best thing I have ever done. Everytime I look at Thomas I feel like the luckiest person in the world, I feel so overwhelmed with love I actually can't stop looking at him :) Listen to me gushing *blushes*


The Long Overdue Birth Post

Its been 3 weeks now since I gave birth and I'm still getting use to life as a Mummy so I don't find I have much time to myself. Which is why it's taken me this long to write the birth story but here it is finally.
After 2 sweeps which failed to do anything I ended up going 14 days over so was booked in for an induction on Friday 25th May. I was told to phone the labour ward at 8:30am to get a time to go in, but as they were really busy from the night before they didn't have a time for me to go in. I had to phone them a further 2 times before they finally called and said I could go in at 5pm. So I thought wayhay we are off.
At first they couldn't break my water so I had to have a pessary fitted to soften and open the cervix and had to have that for 24 hours before they would examine me again and try to break my waters again. Once I had that fitted I have to be monitored for 2 hours to make sure the baby was still OK after they had been messing about with me and then I was allowed to go home but I had to be back at 8am the next morning for another hour of monitoring. Whilst I was in hospital the next day I started getting a tightening pain which the midwife said was caused by the pessary and it was a good sign as it meant it was working. Those pains lasted me pretty much all day. Once we got home we went for a long walk and I bounced on my birth ball to try and get things moving but no such luck. At 7:30 that night we went back to hospital this time I wasn't leaving without my baby boy. 
The only thing that I was gutted about with having an induction is that my wish of a nice active labour in the birth centre was out of the window now. I had to be hooked up to the monitor for continuous monitoring.
After a further hour on the monitor the midwives came to try and break my water which they managed to do. That is a horrible experience I'm so glad they broke in hospital and not whilst walking around Tesco. The only way to describe it is it feels like you are weeing yourself but you have no control over it and can't stop it. We also discovered Thomas had done a poo which could have been because he was a bit distressed or because he was 2 weeks over.
After they broke my water I was then attached to a drip which started my contractions almost instantly. They were horrible and having to lie in bed made it worse I felt like I needed to walk around like it may take some of the pain away but I couldn't. I soon started on my gas and air which is amazing stuff, it doesn't take the pain away completely but it does help a little and it gives you something else to think about. The only way I can describe it is the feeling you get when your lying in bed drunk after a night out and the room spins and your not quite with it.
I was having really strong regular contractions for about 2 hours and was having about 6 every 10 minutes when things too a turn for the worse. Every time I was contracting Thomas's heart rate was dropping. I can't really remember anything from then on because I was out of it on gas and air but apparently the midwife said to David and my mum that if his heart rate dropped again she would press the red button and the room would fill with people. She didn't get to finish the sentence before she pressed the button and people came running in to the room.
They tried to put a monitor on Thomas's head to monitor him more effectively but his heart rate was still dropping and I was still only 2cm dilated which is what I was when they first broke my water so the decision was mad to perform and emergency Cesarean. All I can remember at this point was somebody thrust a consent form in front of me to sign and then I was rushed to theatre.
As soon as I was in theatre the epidural was fitted and I can remember having freezing water squirted on me to test if it had started to work and it was touch and go whether I would have to be put to sleep or not as it wasn't kicking in straight away but luckily it worked.
David was then allowed in to theatre just in time for Thomas to be delivered. It was a weird sensation I could feel pulling and tugging as they were getting him out but there is no pain at all. Imagine having a tooth out, it was like that. The next thing I knew there was an ear peircing scream. My son had been born I just burst in to tears it was the most beautiful sound in the world hearing your child for the first time.
Thomas was then passed to David and I saw him for the first I fell in love instantly words just cannot describe that feel it was absolutely amazing.
I was then stitched up and taken to recovery to wait for some feeling to come back in my legs and I was finally allowed to hold my son and have skin to skin with him it was the most beautiful moment ever the first cuddle with my beautiful baby boy.

The first picture of my beautiful boy.
1 day old lifting his head himself
Future England rugby superstar.
Few hours old.
Cuddling Mummy
Drunk on milk

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