A couple of weeks ago Thomas settled himself for the first time at night for me this has been a massive achievement as bedtime was the time of day that I actually hated. Every night was a a fight which could last for an hour or more. It was really begining to get me down as I was fighting this battle on my own every night and I knew it was time to get it sorted once and for all.
A couple of months ago I watched a program called "Bedtime Live" and normally I don't take much notice of these types of programs but I remebered something that I saw on there about using the gradual retreat method and I thought this may work well for Thomas as I think he thought I was abandoning him if I just placed him in his cot and left the room as that is when the screaming would start.
I started the new bedtime routine on a night when Thomas was already in a good mood and he wasn't over tired. I placed him in his cot where he started to cry almost imediately but I didn't go to pick him up or try to lay him down again. Instead I spoke to him in a calm and soothing voice and told him that it was bedtime now and that he needed to lay down ready to go to sleep. I then started to read him a bedtime story whilst he was still crying and before long he stopped crying and started listening to me read his book.
Once I had finished reading his book Thomas was nice and calm and moving around in his cot trying to get comfy so then I turned my back on him and every 5 minutes or so I shuffled closer to the door and by the time I was in the door way Thomas was pretty much asleep and he didn't notice I had gone.
Over the next few days I repeated this and started to make my way to the door faster until I was finishing his story and going straight to the door and Thomas wouldn't even bother. Bedtimes are so much easier now for both of us it's no longer a time of day I dread but I actually look forward to a nice calm time together before he drifts off to sleep.
This way of soothing may not work for everybody it completely depends on what your child is like but hopefully this may give you some new ideas to try if you are struggling with bedtime too.